Stephen Wilson

My Unc Steve

One of the easiest things to do in life is to judge others; perhaps it helps us avoid the hard work that comes with self-reflection, perhaps it makes us feel better about ourselves. In life, we all make judgments and we all know people who simply judge others, but we rarely encounter those who move beyond judgment towards understanding and compassion simply because they choose to do so. Having the awareness necessary to make such a choice is a rare quality…but also an affirmation of the inherent goodness at the core of our humanity. Uncle Stephen lived that choice.

When others sought to simplify life, he sought to see more of it. When others chose to narrow life, he set out to do more living; when others chose the safe path he chose to take the risks that would allow him to be more alive. Those choices made him the compassionate person I knew and also more vulnerable to the scrutiny of those who chose easier paths.

Life is a string of choices woven together into a fabric that has texture, colour, and meaning. To understand life we not only have to create and understand our own fabric, we must attempt to interpret and appreciate the fabric that is found in the lives of those we encounter. All too often it is easy to take the simple view and conclude that a good life must look a certain way, have a prescribed texture, or a familiar colour. In death, we seek to explain the life of the person who has passed; perhaps we would be better served to understand what the ending of one life and how it was lived can teach us about our own lives and the choices we make.

He was an eternal optimist, something many may have struggled to understand. He believed in humanity even during the times when little humanity could be found. He believed in the power of the individual and the enduring nature of the spirit and the ability of the will to overcome adversity. Why? Because he felt that if you didn't believe it existed in others it couldn't exist within.

If Uncle Stephen were here, I'm sure he would want each of you to remember that life is shorter than we think and that we all have an appointment to die. We live under the false perception that living is measured in years and that the more years we are alive, the more life we live. We often mistakenly let fear keep our spirits in check while bargaining for more years instead of more life. Uncle Stephen chose more life.

As I've thought about Uncle Stephen's life and the lives of many others I've known who are no longer here, I've come to realize more of what it means to live. What we frequently recall about those who are no longer here isn't the years they spent it's the living they did. When you stop to think about the things people talk about when reminiscing about friends and family that have passed away, it's usually about the fully human things that made them vibrantly alive, it's about the risks they took to show us who they truly were while not allowing themselves to be crippled by the fear of judgment or disappointment. We remember the colourful stories that illuminated their unique identities, those special traits which were then and which will remain forever more unabashedly beautiful! That's what I will remember about Uncle Stephen.

If Uncle Stephen were able to speak to each of you today, he would want you to remember that the future is uncertain, and at the same time it is important to live fully each moment. What you will carry forward when you are long gone; will not be that which you accumulated it will be that which you shared and gave of your authentic self to others by those who knew and loved you. Most importantly, he would wish each of you the courage and conviction to be the most authentic and unabashedly beautiful person that he came to know and love during his time here with each of you.

I've never been good with goodbyes so I'll offer these closing thoughts in the hopes that they capture and help each of you keep the spirit of Uncle Stephen alive. In this life, some people have no dreams, some people fear their dreams, some people can only imagine their dreams, but when all is said and done, Uncle Stephen lived his dreams. In your hearts and in your actions life is a dream, have no regrets Stephen your spirit lives on long after that death is a dream.

Rest well my friend without fear or anguish.



Love

Bryen